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”Doug Sanders, professional golfer: “I’m working as hard as I can to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time. If I can just die after lunch on Tuesday, everything will be perfect.”Mickey Lolich, Detroit Tigers pitcher: “All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, ‘See, there is a fat guy doing great. Bring me another beer.’”Tommy Lasorda, Los Angeles Dodgers manager: “I found out that it’s not good to talk about my troubles. Eighty percent of the people who hear them don’t care and the other twenty percent are glad I’m having them.”E.J. Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his twelve knee operations: “My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.”Vic Braden, tennis instructor: “My theory is that if you buy an ice cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play tennis. If you stick it on your forehead, your chances aren’t as good.”Walt Garrison, Dallas Cowboys fullback when asked if Tom Landry ever smiles: “I don’t know. I only. “What is the problem?” asked Lee.“We’re trying to interest Red in being a socialator, but she’s apparently hung up on the fact that your nearest analogous activity is illegal. I need new terms...”“Hmmmm. Try heterae, or courtesan. She probably won’t know of the former, but might have a concept of the latter. I’ll pitch the former when I get there...”“Thanks.” Sabac turned to Val. “Ever hear of a heterae, or a courtesan? Leegates says that might approach socialator closer than your other terms.”“Courtesan ... Hmmmm. It’s a fancy name for it. I’m not sure they’re paid, either; they’re more like mistresses, I think...”“Maybe that’s it. Most socialators aren’t into short-term cash transactions — they enjoy themselves, and they may live with a man or move between two or three. It’s not just about sex, although it is about the sexual arts.”“Hmmmm ... I dunno...” Val glanced up to see the group arrive, and picked out Lee. “Okay, so, what’s a heterae?”“Ancient Greek sexual professional,” Lee.
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